Ok, finally got around to changing the introduction text. But as you can see, I'm too sianz to write a proper one, so am going to blabber on in hopes that you will get an idea of what sort of person I am by guessing. Yeah, the format of this blog is crap. I haven't got around to fixing it. Later lah.. Much later...
I want to be a Christian. But I rant and rave against Christianity not because I am against their believes but because they are against mine. I want to believe and accept god in the company of others, but not if it compromises my freedom to believe in my own perception of god.
Does it make me any less of a child of god if I do not take it as an indisputable truth that Jesus is the son and one of the holy faces of god? Does it tarnish my faith if I question the scriptures and the writings in the bible? I am not against Christianity, Christianity is against me. If I say I do not believe in the holy trinity, I cannot be accepted into the ranks of Christianity.
But please see that the need for individuality does not immediately nullify the need for acceptance.
ME signed off at 5:30 PM
Friday, June 18, 2010
125th entry
You know the feeling of when you really, really, want to eat cake... but you don't and instead eat salad, because you know it is for your own good.
But you really, really, feel crappy because you can't have the cake now that you've ordered the salad; but you know it's the right choice... not that it makes you feel any better. And there is that regret; but not exactly regret because you are certain in your knowledge of the bad bad, consequences if you did eat the cake.
Well, I feel like that now. I know it's for my own good, but I still feel crappy anyway.
ME signed off at 6:24 PM
Wednesday, June 02, 2010
124th entry
Sometimes I wish I could just once, tell you how I really feel.
I hate you. I dislike you. I wish you'd go away and leave me alone.
But I'm afraid to. I'm afraid I will regret it and it will be said and I will have to live with not being able to take it back.
I like you. I still do. I'd prefer not to, but.
So badly do I want to just say it straight to your face, no fancy words and no roundabouts. Just to say what's inside.
